I went to Panda Express for a lunch break and I sat at a table with 2 extra chairs and this rude ass lady comes up to me and says “can you move to another table so my family can sit there? No one else is sitting with you and I need a spot and you’re wasting space.”
I looked up at her and said “No, because the two fucks I give are sitting here.”
Best fucking day of my life
you’re my hero
Idk why people say “this tastes like ass” when something tastes bad. Idk what asses you’ve been tasting but that’s not a good sign
They definitely haven’t been tasting mine 😏
I had a dream about a cowboy movie last night and I woke up to write it down so I would remember
WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD WHY IS MY SENSE OF HUMOR THIS TERRIBLE
If your name is on one of these I just wanna let you know your parents are basic bitches with no creativity
Sounds like someone’s sad they couldn’t find their name on a coke bottle
If they show sports events at bars why don’t they show tv shows?
someone should get to making a fandom bar.
no but can you imagine? fandom themed drinks, tv show maraton nights, discount to cosplayers, and special season finale events.WHY ISNT THIS A THING??!!
*lies in the sun for 5 mins*
wheres my tan
"What are your talents?"
Calvin is the most relatable protagonist in the history of anything.